Hamburglar found the greatest show in existence this morning. And it was a complete accident, which makes it even more awesome. The show is called “You're Cut Off” and it's about these complete divas who spend something between 7,000-10,000... a week. Their families finally get fed up with it and call in this life-coach person, Laura.
The girls are told that they're going to be featured on a show about their lavish spending habits called “The Good Life”, and are followed around by a camera crew for a week. All nine of the girls are brought to the same mall, where they go shopping as usual, all of their purchases are rung up... and their credit cards are declined.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screamed they.
The girls are brought to the customer service place of the mall, and are shown videos from their families telling them how pathetic, shallow and overly confident they are in their credit card balances. They're sent to the intervention house (One girl comments “We're in the ghetto!” as they pull into a nice, suburban driveway) where they are given one duffle bag for all of their crap, and anything they can't fit into the duffle bag will be stored elsewhere.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screamed they.
This is where the hilarity ensues. These spoiled bitches are forced to cook for themselves (on a budget they have to earn by doing chores; if they don't do the chores, the budget is cut down), clean up after themselves and shop in thrift stores. They were made to clean with a maid service... in Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth's house. OH MY GOD.
I am dying with laughter (and shock at their interviews) throughout the entire series of episodes. This show makes up for me cleaning bathrooms for my family.
And yet, at the same time, I sincerely hope that their antics are exaggerated. (One girl actually stated that she had no idea coupons existed, and didn't know how to use them.) They were so unbelievably clueless about how their actions may effect others. As I'm watching, I'm wondering how their families let them get out of control like this... because they sure as hell don't earn the money they're spending. You have to ask for money to spend money, and someone gave it to them. Whoever that is, I want to cut off their penis and/or steal their ovaries because they should not be allowed to breed ever again.
Unfortunately we didn't get to see the finale because we had to pick Katana up from work. Big. Fat. Bummer. On the list of things I'd rather not want to do tonight, having a stranger spontaneously appear in my apartment and order pizza with bacon and sausage (which equals blinding migraines for me), comes right after “make a painting with my own blood” and “eat rocks”.
My most prominent personality flaw, but one I can't/won't do anything about, is my hatred for strangers and visitors. Having my brothers and sisters visit once a month is stressful for me, and I love my brothers and sisters to death. But I still get stressed. If BeccaTwoC was coming to visit, I would still need at least twelve hours warning. BeccaTwoC is my best friend in the world. That is how strong this aversion to visitors is. Spontaneous visitors render me catatonic, especially when I have nowhere to hide. Our lanai is full of suitcases that were in the living room. My headphones are broken so I can't even block out the noise.
And then the bacon.
Nitrates give me terrible migraines. They always have. I actually see spots when hot bacon is in the room. Cold bacon, fine. But the fumes are terrible. It also comes in sausage and ham. (By the way, all three are on this pizza.) Best way to get me out of a room? Make bacon.
And bring strangers.
In other news, I'm turning in my job paperwork tomorrow and officially starting on Sunday. Wish me luck.
P.S. Hamburglar and ZombieSlayer finished Left 4 Dead. Yay. Now they get to go back and redo it.
No comments:
Post a Comment