You know that rock in your gut that comes from having no idea what to do with your emotions? Where you can't decide between messaging someone or not, when you don't care if they're with someone else, so long as you're there, too, and where you make a complete fool of yourself and so whatever possible to talk to someone, even reading a boring book? That's where I've been every day for the past month.
Not only do I avoid such frivolity on principal, but I had not planned on this outcome at all. Marilyn Monroe said “A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.” It's something I've lived by... and now I'm a proper fool. Espresso shots don't even help, because procuring them is difficult and a pain in my ass. And brain.
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